I hate you
by let-them-say-what-they-will
Summary: QUINCEST. "She tried to push Tegan away, but Tegan put her free hand on her hip and squeezed her flesh as she pulled her against her body..."


The twins decided to go out and have some fun for the night. They had just finished up one of their smaller, more intimate shows of the tour, but just because it wasn't one of their big shows doesn't mean they didn't enjoy it, the small crowd was friendly, excitable and at times a little crazy. Both sisters had thoroughly enjoyed the show and loved how supportive the audience was of their opening act. And so, they decided to go out to a gay club to celebrate a show well done, each feeling quite sure that no one was going to recognize them.

And so far, it look like they were right. It wasn't too bad not being all that well know sometimes. They were having a lot of fun at the bar. Some girls tried to flirt with them and some, without even knowing who they were, got the chance to dance with them. All while somewhere in the world there were probably others just dying for the same opportunity with one of the Quins.

A girl with short blonde hair approached Sara "Posso offrirti da bere?"

"I'm sorry, I don't understand." Sara smiled warmly and the girl blushed immediately.

With a now red face, the girl asked again in English "May I offer you a drink?"

Sara was sure the girl was dying on the inside. She could instantly tell that the girl was really shy, and when she had realized that she wasn't Italian, Sara felt sure the blonde was going to run away in embarrassment, and so she was surprised when the girl gathered all of her courage to try and talk to her.

Deciding to please her, Sara replied sweetly "Yes, of course."

They walked up to the bar together to get their drinks and Sara soon found herself caught up in conversation with the girl. Sara sensed that the girl, whose name she discovered was Roberta, was having a hard time trying to talk to her, she seemed a little insecure and awkward, and she excused herself for her pronunciation and her 'horrible' English a lot of time. Truth was that although some of her words didn't come out perfectly, it was easy enough to understand what she meant.

Roberta became more comfortable as they continued talking and she seemed completely at ease after they had downed a few more drinks, _well, maybe more than a few_, Sara thought as she started to feel her head spin a little.

They moved to the dance floor, swaying their bodies together in sync with the beat of the loud music pumping through the room. Sara subtly glanced around the room, searching for her sister so that she could assure herself that Tegan was having fun. Since she had broken up with her girlfriend, Tegan had started avoiding people, and Sara was worried that she'd be alone and standing around in a corner somewhere by herself. Thankfully when she laid eyes on her sister she found her dancing between two girls, laughing and clearly enjoying herself. Sara smiled, happy that her sister was doing something other than crying and being clingy. Yeah, another thing that came after the break up was that new... thing. Tegan was always near her, clinging to her, even physically. Sara knew that Tegan was emotionally unstable and she tried her best to stay by her side, but sometimes it was hard for her to have Tegan constantly attached to her hip. It was suffocating. Plus, she had started to feel some kind of strange vibe coming from her, she had found Tegan staring at her in strange ways, or touching her... differently. Most of the time she didn't really care, but sometimes she felt like it was a little too much, like she was the only focus point of Tegan's affection. So it felt good to know that her sister was out there with a girl, or two.

She focused her attention back on the blonde in front of her, and found that she was staring back at her. Roberta's gaze trailed across her face with a little smile, and when Sara smiled back, the girl blushed.

"Sei... sei davvero bellissima."

Sara gave her a questioning look, the girl blushed even harder and looked down at her feet as she replied "I... just... I've said that you are really beautiful."

Sara smiled widely. It was nice to hear something like that. It wasn't uncommon for her to hear stuff like that from their fans but, it sounded different coming from someone who didn't know who she was.

She moved her head up to look for Tegan again, but the sudden movement mixed with the amount of alcohol running through her veins made her feel dizzy. She latched her hands on to Roberta's shoulders to steady herself, and the girl took it like as a sign to put her hands on Sara's hips, pulling Sara against her body and starting to move gently to the rhythm of the music. How many years had passed since the last time someone did something like that? Yeah, so she had a girlfriend at home and it was going good, but things had started to feel like simple routine with her.

Sara could feel the lust coming from the girl in front of her in the way she was subtly pushing her body into hers, she was shy even in the way she moved.

Being a few inches shorter than her, Sara easily leaned her head against the girl's shoulder. Taking a deep breath, she inhaled her scent and smiled. The blonde wasn't wearing any perfume but she had a faint aroma of vanilla, probably from her body wash. As they were dancing she felt the girl's hand slip further around her waist and wrap her in a tight grip. Sara didn't know what came over her as she started to kiss her neck. She began by just brushing her lips against the soft skin, before gently sucking on the flesh. She heard soft moans escape the girl's lips and sound made her suddenly move her head back, surprised by her own actions. Before she had time to think about what she'd done, the girl's lips were on hers.

Tegan looked up from the girl that was grinding against her just in time to see her sister succumb to a heated kiss. Her body froze and she felt the girl she was dancing with take a step back from her, before giving her a confused look. Tegan tried to reassure her with a smile, but it came across more forced than her usual gummy grin.

She didn't understand why, but her heart was pounding fast and hard in her chest, and she felt it skip a beat when her eyes landed on her sister again. They were still kissing and Sara's hands were caressing the girl's back. Tegan felt her blood boil in her veins as a rush of anger washed over her. She tried so hard to convince herself that she was only mad because her sister had a girlfriend, but her heart was aching and beating fast, and regardless of how hard she tried, she couldn't lie to herself... What she was feeling was betrayal and she didn't even know why, or better, she didn't want to _admit_ why.

She was so upset that she didn't even notice the girl she had been dancing with had left until she tore her gaze away from her twin. That made her even angrier. Looking back to Sara, she saw that they had broken the kiss and her sister was looking at the girl with her brows furrowed in confusion. Tegan strode towards her sister, pushing her way through the crowd.

Sara saw her approaching and her expression instantly changed from one of confusion to worry.

"Come with me, NOW!" Tegan grabbed Sara by her wrist and stomped off, dragging her twin behind her, without even look at the blond girl.

Sara didn't say a word, didn't react at all. Her mind was still on the girl that had kissed her, the one that she had kissed back. Guilt ran through her as she thought about her girlfriend, back at home. What the hell happened? She had never thought about cheating on her before, she placed the blame on the one too many drinks she had had, but that fact didn't change how she was feeling.

Tegan led the two of them towards the bathroom but she froze on the spot the second they entered the women's room. There were girls crowded around the room, kissing and touching and taking drugs without a care to the others surrounding them. She saw even a girl, leaned up against the sink, with her hands up another girl's shirt, groping at her chest like no one else was there. She heard a loud moan coming from one of the stalls and her grip on her sister's wrist tightened.

Sara looked around with her mouth agape. Her nose scrunched at the strong smell of urine and spilled alcohol. When her sister started to drag her again, she felt her shoes stick against the dirty, damp floor.

Tegan pulled Sara in to one of the stalls and closed the door behind them as they heard another loud moan come from the stall next to theirs. Taking her sister by the collar of her shirt, Tegan shoved her against the door, hard.

"What the fuck, Sara?" Tegan yelled in her sister's face.

Sara eyes were locked to her feet in shame, her heart beating fast in her chest.

"What the fuck you were thinking?" Tegan pushed her against the door again and again.

Sara's head hit the wall. "Please, you're hurting me," Sara whimpered.

Sara's body was trembling and the fact that she wouldn't meet her sister's eyes made Tegan even madder.

"Look at me," Tegan ordered in a low tone that failed to disguise her anger.

Sara hesitated, trailing her gaze up to Tegan's chin but not to her eyes.

"I said LOOK AT ME!" Tegan raised her voice again causing Sara to finally make eye contact, but it only lasted a second before she looked down again.

Tegan roughly gripped Sara by her chin, forcing her head up and making her look her in the eye.

"You're a fucking slut," Tegan spat trough her clenched teeth. Her heart was pounding even faster now, she was angry and her sister's face was mere inches from her own, the bitter smell of alcohol prominent on Sara's breath.

"Fuck you," Sara mumbled, she knew she had done something wrong, and she already felt like shit without her sister yelling at her. Not that Tegan had any right to feel angry, anyway.

"What did you say?" Tegan asked as her blood boiled.

"Fuck you." Sara raised her voice and slapped Tegan's hand away.

Tegan angrily took Sara by the collar again and pulled her from the door just to push her into the opposite wall.

"NO, FUCK YOU. You're just a bitch," she yelled and pushed Sara again. Getting more riled up as she felt tears forming in her eyes.

A knock and a yell sounded from outside their stall "MUOVETEVI!"

Tegan turned her head to the door and screamed "OH, FUCK OFF."

Turned her attention back to Sara, Tegan found the shame in her sister's eyes was almost completely gone, having been replaced by Sara's own anger.

"Let me go." Sara's voice trembled despite her best effort to remain calm. Her body ached in Tegan's grip, but Tegan just shoved her against the wall once more.

"Tegan, it's none of your fucking business, now let me go." Her voice cracked as her tears threatened to spill. She felt like shit, she had just kissed another girl, and fighting with her sister wasn't helping to make things better.

"Yeah, it is my business, you're my sister and your acting like a fucking slut," Tegan spat with disgust marking the last word.

Sara took a strong grip of her sister's wrist. Not trying to push her away, just digging her short nails as hard as she could into her sister's skin.

"Fuck you, Tegan, let me go," Sara said through clenched teeth, now looking Tegan directly in the eye.

The alcohol in her system fueled her darker side, and fighting back seemed like an easier option than dealing with what she was feeling.

"Why, so you can go have some more fun? Bitch!" Tegan wanted to hurt her sister with her words, to make her feel like she was feeling.

In that moment Sara lost it, her heart was pounding painfully and her sister's words just added more hurt to her heart. She slapped Tegan's face with her right hand, and when Tegan released her from her grip, she pushed her back.

"Fuck you, fuck you, FUCK YOU!" Sara yelled, hysterically punching and slapping her sister, "What the fuck do you want from me?" Her vision blurred from how hard she was crying, she didn't even know if her hits were reaching their target.

Her movements were suddenly stopped by Tegan taking her wrists in her hands. She pushed Sara against the wall, pinning her hands above her head and flushing their bodies together, effectively blocking any move Sara tried to make.

"I..." Tegan's breath caught in her throat, making her choke on her words, "I thought..." another pause as she tried to figure out what she wanted to say, "I trusted you."

How could she explain this sense of betrayal she was feeling when she hadn't any right to feel it? She could be mad, but the pain in her heart wasn't normal.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Sara's rage calmed a little as confusion took over her drunk mind.

"You're just a cheating bitch." Tegan's walls came down to let her pain spill from her eyes.

"Fuck you, Tegan... it's not like that... I was drunk, she kissed me... and... and..." She was trying to stay calm but her sister's body pinned against her own was driving her crazy. She needed to breathe and in the short breaths she was taking, she could smell nothing but the alcohol on her sister's breath and the scent of sweat and piss coming from their surroundings. She was getting impatient, just wanting to be left alone. Sara squirmed, trying to free herself but Tegan, feeling her movement, pushed against her even harder.

"Jesus Christ, Tegan, let me go and mind your fucking business," Sara hissed, she didn't understand why she should have to apologize to her sister. It wasn't like she was cheating on her.

The hurt she could see in Tegan's eyes confused her. But it was just a moment before anger replaced it again, darkening her sister's hazel eyes.

Tegan pushed her body impossibly closer to Sara's, until their faces were almost touching.

Sara lost her mind. She was trying so hard to breathe but the weight of her sister was making the task difficult to accomplish, and the added mix of rage and intense guilt she was feeling wasn't making it any easier. She tried desperately to move her hands and body again, but it was no use. Frustrated tears started to stream down her cheeks and then she did the only thing she could do. She quickly moved her head, taking her sister's trembling bottom lip into her mouth and biting it.

Surprised, Tegan pulled back and her lip slipped out from between her sister's teeth and snapped painfully back in place. Tegan brought a hand to her mouth, tasting the blood before she saw it staining her fingers. Sara moved forward again but Tegan blocked her and pinned her back in place. When their eyes met again, Sara saw the fury in them. There was a fire she had never seen in those eyes before. Then, before she could process what was happening Tegan's mouth was on hers.

Tegan sucked her sister's lip into her mouth and bit down, only slightly gentler than her sister had done to her. Sara's lip felt soft and plump in her mouth and she let it go only to attach their lips together again. It was more of a battle than a kiss. Tongues and teeth clashing, furious sucking and nibbling.

Even though it was like a war, Tegan felt heat rise to her core. The pulsating feeling between her legs making her even more upset. Sara was squirming and pushing her body against her and before Tegan knew what she was doing, she had parted her legs a little, causing Sara's thigh to push against her center.

Sara's eyes were squeezed shut, and only opened when Tegan's lips left her own. Looking up at Tegan, she was nervous to discover that she couldn't decipher what she saw in her twin's eyes. God, she didn't even know what she was feeling herself. Her heart was beating so fast that she was sure Tegan could hear it. She could still taste her sister's blood in her mouth and the feeling of Tegan's tongue trying to dominate her own was still with her. There was something else too. A feeling between her legs that shouldn't be there.

Sara took a couple of deep breaths in an attempt to erase the feelings that were making her uncomfortable. So, she focused on the only way she knew how to handle it, by blocking everything else out.

Tegan's eyes were dark as she was tried to read Sara's mind, to find any hint of what she was feeling in her eyes.

"So it was that?" Sara said, her head throbbing as she tried to fight back against the reality of what was happening, but it was the only thing she could think about.

"What?" Tegan asked through ragged breath.

"This is what it's all about? You're fucking jealous!"

Tegan released her grip on Sara's wrists, taken aback by Sara's words. The worst part was that her sister was right. That feeling that was tearing her heart apart was jealousy. She had felt it the moment she saw Sara kiss that girl.

"Fuck you." Tegan meant to sound strong but her voice came out in a whisper.

"No, fuck you. You don't even care about me, or Stacy... you just think about yourself," Sara shoved at her sister's shoulders, "you're fucking sick," she added.

Tegan felt her chest tighten, squeezing at her insides. She took a deep breath and her sister's scent invaded her senses. How could she say a thing like that? Sara was the only thing she cared about. She felt tears form in her eyes as she put her hand to Sara's throat, pushing her against the wall and taking her breath away.

Sara's eyes widened, and for a brief moment she felt fear wash over her despite knowing her sister would never harm her. But mostly, she was mad. She was mad because her body was reacting in an unsettling way to her sister's closeness. She was mad because now that she had tasted her sister's mouth, she wanted it again. She was mad because her sister's breath was hitting her face in short puffs of air. She was mad because she was sure her eyes were darkening with desire just like those of her sister's.

She wasn't prepared for that. All she wanted was to fight those sick feelings away.

"It's all about that, right?" Sara angrily grabbed her sister's crotch and squeezed. Tegan sucked in a trembling breath, her face red as sweat started to form on her skin.

"You want to fuck your little sister, huh?" Sara mocked her, without withdrawing her hand.

"Shut your fucking mouth," Tegan hissed.

"Or maybe you want to be fucked," Sara pondered aloud, arrogance dripping from her voice.

"I said, shut your fucking mouth." Tegan tightened her grip on her sister's throat.

Unconsciously, Tegan had started moving her hips to meet her sister's hand and in the process had moved her thigh between her sister's legs, pushing against her lightly. But that was enough to throw Sara into a frenzy.

"So, is that what you want?" Sara asked, squeezing her hand again.

"Fuck," Tegan moaned as she pushed her hips against Sara, "Shut up."

Sara bit her lip, trying to contain herself.

"You're a sick fuck."

"Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP." Tegan repeated her mantra, as her desire started to burn through her.

"You're a fucking-" Sara didn't have a chance to finish her sentence as Tegan pressed her lips hard against her own.

Their lips crashed together, and then Tegan's tongue was in Sara's mouth and her thigh pressed tight against Sara's core. Sara couldn't hold back a moan any longer.

Sara's hand moved to repeatedly press, rather roughly, into Tegan's crotch and her hips subtly moved against her sister's thigh to gain some friction. She sucked Tegan's bottom lip into her mouth, licking away the last droplets of blood.

Tegan was the one to break the kiss, and when she looked at her sister, they were both panting heavily.

"I'm the sick one, huh?" she taunted with a smirk. Sara tried to withdraw her hand but Tegan trapped it there by placing her own hand atop her sister's, then she squeezed and released a moan.

"Fuck," Sara's breathy voice quickly become a moan when Tegan pushed harder against her center.

She tried to push Tegan away, but Tegan put her free hand on her hip and squeezed her flesh as she pulled her against her body, only to push her against the wall again just a moment later. Sara's pupils were dilated, almost black with desire, but she wasn't ready to succumb to it yet.

Tegan lips attached to Sara's again, and Tegan moaned as she started to push her sister's hand against herself. She used her other hand to unbutton her jeans, then she moved her hand up, bringing Sara's along with it.

Sara didn't put up much of a fight when Tegan's hand moved to her chest and squeezed her breasts. She released a deep moan and broke the kiss, pushing her forehead against Tegan's shoulder.

Tegan began to move their joined hands down her pants, her breath quick with lust and fear. Sara's breath was erratic as their hands pushed passed the waistband of her sister's underwear and continued moving south.

Tegan slid Sara's fingers into her wetness, then manipulated them into scissoring her clit. The friction made her moan, but her heart was heavy with guilt and the sound that left her mouth sounded more like a strangled sob. She could feel the sticky fluids that were covering her underwear and dampening her knuckles, and unable to control herself, she started to pour silent tears. She was ashamed of what she was doing, but she desperately needed it.

Sara felt Tegan's whole body tremble, and the contrast between her sister's wetness and her sobbing drove her crazy. She wanted so badly to just run away, but at the same time she didn't want anything other than to stay right where she was, with her sister. Her head felt like it was exploding with too many question and doubts, and her heart tightened with the overwhelming array of emotions she was feeling. But most prominently, her body was burning with a deep desire. She began to move against Tegan, and in attempt to fight back, she pinched her fingers together, painfully squeezing Tegan's clit between them. Tegan cried out in pain and bit down on Sara's shoulder, trying to handle her pain. She stopped moving and took a stronger grip of Sara's hand.

Sara tried once again to pull her hand back, but Tegan didn't let her go.

"Please, don't," Tegan whispered.

Sara noticed the deep hurt and fear, mixed up with carnal desire swimming in Tegan's hazel eyes. Her sister was scared, was ashamed, she clearly felt awful for what she was doing. But nonetheless, she had never seen her sister as beautiful as she was in that moment. It was a tragic kind of beauty, and she knew that, if she wanted, she could destroy her twin with a single word. But she couldn't. Instead, she lightly thrust her hips against Tegan thigh without breaking eye contact, her lips parted a little, trying to suck in enough air.

Tegan started to gently circle herself with Sara's hand. Sara didn't move but she didn't fight either. She felt Tegan's breath caress her face in quick puffs that blew the hair away from her eyes. Tegan started moving against her hand and Sara watched as she closed her eyes and threw her head back.

Sara continued to stare, in awe of the tendons popping up on her sister pale neck. Her gawking was broken when Tegan's forehead pushed against her shoulder.

Tegan moved their hands further down, and then pushed two of Sara's fingers into her folds, moaning loudly at the sensation. She stilled her movement for a couple of seconds and withdrew her hand, placing it on her sister's forearm and leaving Sara's to rest at her entrance. Sara didn't move, she didn't push in but she didn't pulled back either.

Seeing that Sara wasn't going to do anything, Tegan once again held her twin's hand in place and started to move her hips against it, just as someone started to pound against the door. But she couldn't hear what they were saying, the only thing she could hear was her own pounding heartbeat. She was fucking herself against her sister fingers, and soon her moans started to mix with her cries. Her tears now dampening her sister shirt. Sara herself was trying hard to hold back her tears as her hips moved against her sister. She knew Tegan could feel the heat spreading from her center, and she was ashamed. She didn't want to be turned on by her sister, she didn't want to brush her core against her, but there's nothing else she could do.

Tegan moved frantically against Sara, making her sister's stilled fingers push into her.

"I'm s... I'm sorry," she whimpered in Sara's ear, moving her hips faster.

Sara choked on her breath, her sister was fucking herself with her hand, and at the same time she was crying, and Sara, she was going crazy, she didn't know what to do. Her sister's voice was still echoing in her mind when she finally began to move her fingers by herself. She pushed in harder and faster and Tegan let go of her hand to steady herself against the wall. Sara was now free to move away, but she kept pushing, curling her fingers up with every push, and brushing her palm against her sister's clit.

With her free hand, Sara held her sister's back and their bodies flush against each other. Turning her head into the crook of Tegan's neck, Sara started to suck on the flesh, licking the tendons she had been awestruck by earlier. Tegan's hand fell to Sara's shoulder and tugged on her hair as Sara began moving faster.

Tegan came hard, pulling at her sister's hair and biting into her shoulder again as her body tensed and shook. Her weight fell against Sara as she went limp. Sara steadied Tegan with the hand on her back while her other one was being drenched by her sister's come. Her sister was so hot, and she felt her own orgasm approach, so she kept moving against her. Tegan was exhausted, both physically and emotionally, but she pushed her thigh against Sara, thrusting back and forth, again and again, until Sara came, biting down hard on her neck.

They were pushed together, trying to regain their breath when Sara finally withdrew her hand. The smell of Tegan's sex instantly filled the air of the little stall and Sara felt sickness wrap around her as the reality of what they had done hit her hard.

"Fuck... fuck, fuck, fuck..." Sara started, almost hysterically, "...let me go, I need to go..."

Tegan lifted her head and tried to hug her. But Sara pushed her back.

"I hate you, I hate you, I hate you," Sara repeated as she moved toward the door to escape.

Tegan reached her hand out and spun her around, pulling her back.

"No, no, no, no," she stroked Sara's hair, "don't... please don't... I'm sorry," she pleaded, crying again.

"I hate you," Sara whispered, pushing her forehead against Tegan's.

"Please, Sara, don't," Tegan said softly, she moved to look into Sara's eyes. They were red with tears, tears that she wiped away with her thumbs.

Tegan held her sister's face gently, watching as her bottom lip trembled. She took a deep breath, and a moment later she kissed Sara again. She kissed her softly, gently. And it surprised Tegan when Sara kissed her back. It was the most amazing, and yet at the same time, the saddest kiss she'd ever experienced.

Their tongues danced together, brushing gently, and saying their goodbyes.

"I hate you." Sara was so quiet, her words were almost inaudibly, but Tegan definitely heard her. She gently took Tegan's hands from her face, turned again and opened the door.

"Sara..." Tegan whispered, watching as her sister disappeared in the crowd.


End file.
